Another restless night

 

As I've mentioned several times over the last few months, I have been having a difficult time with sleep. I fall asleep with no trouble at all, it's just remaining asleep that I've been fighting with.

It's usually around 3am in the morning (which in itself is beginning to freak me out), I wake up. Of course, because I'm awake, nature calls. By the time I go answer it and get back to bed, I'm more awake, even though I use only my phone for light as to not turn on anything brighter during the process.

Still, I climb back into bed, hopeful that sleep will overtake me because there's that moment of utter comfort as I sink into the mattress and my head forms into the pillow.

After about thirty seconds of utter comfort, I change positions. I make it a minute before the next change. This will usually continue for the next hour. After I fall asleep right before 4am, I wake up thirty minutes later to start the day with the dogs. 

I've been trying different things, melatonin, sleep aid pills that help keep you asleep, and I thought it might be helping, but last night proved otherwise.

There's too much going on in the world right now, I think. Even if I don't consciously know I'm doing it, I can't stop thinking about everything. I worry about the virus. I worry about the violence in the streets. I worry about the upcoming election. I worry about what the crazy tRump supporters will do when Joe Biden wins (knock wood), I worry about tRump cheating and winning the election (oh, God, please have mercy on us). I worry about all of it.

I know, there's nothing to be gained by worrying. Tell that to my head.

So I'll spend another day in a sleepy haze and hope that tonight will be better.

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