Thursday, April 23, 2015

Worth it?

I thought I had convinced myself that I would no longer allow the feelings of discouragement and failure to rule.
But it's harder than I had thought.
I know a writer shouldn't talk about how bad sales are, but I don't see how it could make things worse.   
I do so much to market my books. I have over 9,100 Twitter followers, I'm on more than 84 book clubs on Facebook (a combination of more than 30,000 members), and I spend about an hour posting every single morning. But with all of this, I still get quarterly royalty checks that won't buy me much at Starbucks!
That's what happened yesterday, and all the time and effort I put into writing and marketing more than twelve books seems like such a waste of time.
Yes, writing a book is rewarding on some levels, but those familiar feelings of doubt are stronger than I am.
I'm retired now from my day job, and I was so excited about being a full-time writer at last, but I'm not sure what the future holds for me.
I have some people who tell me to never give up, that I'm a wonderful writer, and they love my books, and trust me, those few people are the ones who keep me going. But it would be so much easier if I knew that, anyone who knows me has at least one of my books, but I know that's not true. I know for a fact that many have never read a word.
So what happens next?
Guess I'll find out when everyone else does.

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