Life of Pol

Well today kinda sucked. It seemed to start out on the right foot, but quickly tripped and stumbled down a long, treacherous hill. There was nothing too life altering about it. It was just one of those days at the day job that I still have, that I should have been able to quit by now if things had gone the way they were supposed to. But, no, I'm still there. And there are days, such as today, when it is a bit tougher than usual. For the main reason, because I know I should have been gone by now. Another because (God forbid) if nothing does happen that allows me to quit early, I'm only four years from retirement. That alone makes tough days just a little tougher. I think it's called Short-timers, or something like that. It's just more crap piled onto the crap from the week before that and the month before that. It's just the never-ending cycle of a day-to-day job. And there are days, like today, when it feels like it may be too much. They have piled one t...

It Sunday. Steve's been working all day. He's been working a lot lately. But on the brighter side of that, I've been getting a lot of writing done on the second book. I did some great work today. Actually had one of those moments when I started getting teary-eyed because something bad happened to the main character. Even though it may sound weird, I love those moments. I hope that it effects readers the same way. I've been trying not to think about getting screwed out of my movie deal, but lately it's been all I can think about. It irritates me that the "producer" seems to have no qualms about pushing me out. After five years! Steve keeps telling me that she'll get her's one day. What comes around goes around. I only hope that's true. We're really hoping that this new series will get picked up and be as big as we dream it will be. Then that b-- "producer" will be sorry she doesn't have me in her corner anymore. ...

As I sit here, writing to whomever sees fit to read, I am filled again with the overwhelming sensation of anticipation. The anticipation of what's to come. There are times in your life when you feel that you simply go through your days in the most common routine. You can drive to work without even thinking about it or paying much attention (though, I don't recommend it). You go through your work day in much of the same daydream that brought you there. But then there are those days when, although nothing visibly or physically has changed, you feel something. What that "something" is, who knows? But it's there. And isn't that enough? I've had a great three days of writing. The second installment of the series I'm working on has suddenly taken off. I was having a bit of trouble before, but that's all past me now. It's coming along great. Perhaps that's the reason for that "something" I'm feeling? I've also sent out...

Well, it's Grammy night. I'm not usually all that excited about Grammy night, but for some reason I am this year. I think it's because of a few reasons. One being that Lady Ga-Ga's new song will be premiered and second (and forgive me for sounding a bit like a pedophile) is because Justin Bieber is nominated for best new artist, and I really hope he gets it. I don't know what it is. There's just something about that kid that is so inspirational. He really is talented and he seems to be handling all his success the right way. Anyway, we like him, so there. Other than the Grammy's tonight, my day will consist of working on the second book, going to the gym and reading. Steve will be at work tonight so it's just Buster and I again. Oh, I wish I could just get this career of mine started so we could spend all of our time together. I know it's not going to happen all at once, so I need for something to start so we'll be that much closer. ...

Another few days have gone by and another rejection has come in the mail. But that's okay, it's to be expected. I just send out another query to replace the one rejected. I would have been a bit more upset about the second rejection letter arriving, but I feel too good to be upset. You see, I know what I have. I know it and Steve knows it. And now, someone else knows it, too, and had reaffirmed to me that I have something special here. The book is in such an early stage of getting out there that only three people have read it: Steve, my editor (who said it was great, but I was paying her) and now a friend of mine. Now you may say, "Oh, a friend . Of course a friend is going to say they love it." But my friends know that saying things just to make me feel good doesn't really help me in my cause. And I would have known if this person was just saying nice things to be nice. You can hear things like that in a person's voice, especially one you know so ...

Well, as they say in the biz, "Aw, shit!" I got my first rejection letter back yesterday from one of the agents I queried. But it's okay. I wasn't so naive to think that the very first letter I would get back would be someone banging on my door begging for me to be their client. Grabbing me by the leg as I drag them across the floor. Tears flying out of their eyes like some exaggerated cartoon until I agreed to allow them to sign me. Finding and agent is almost as hard, if not harder, than finding a publisher. It's part of the reason I had quit dealing with all of this before. They say that writing the book is the hard part. Uh, no, that was quite a bit easier than trying to get someone to look past whether your query letter is the best in the bunch and give you a chance. Don't get me wrong-I totally understand that the query letter has to be good enough to get past the thousand of others that are received per year. But come on! You've got to look past th...

Self-doubt. It's a problem of many. It's a serious problem of mine. It's always been a problem of mine. I've always been very critical regarding most aspects of my life. My hair-eh, could be better. My body-eh, would like it more muscular. My teeth-eh, could be whiter. Are these realistic criticisms? No. My hair is fine-compared to some other members of my family at my age. My body-better than most people half my age. And my teeth-they're pretty white considering the amount of coffee I drink on the weekends. One of the worst criticisms I have is with my writing. I have always doubted my level of talent, no matter who told me they loved the way I wrote. This doubt only increases when I read a book from my favorite author Dean Koontz. I can't get through a chapter without thinking to myself "Crap. Who am I fooling? I can't write like this. This is a real writer. I'm nothing like this." But then I think, "Of course you...

So cold here in Austin! I love it! I've never loved the cold as much as I have this year, since we've made the decision last Spring to move to Colorado. And tonight, they're calling for snow. My fingers and toes are crossed that the forecasters get it right this time. This morning started out great! My writer's block seems to be gone. It only lasted a few days and I'm grateful. Actually, I think I owe it all to Steve. Yesterday we had a day dedicated to (insert title of series here). We went to Natural Bridge Caverns first. That was cool because I was able to really visualize the setting for the third installment of the series. Then we stopped at the Snake Farm outside New Braunfels. I can say that the series has to do with snakes and this was really cool because I got to see some of the snakes from the books live and in person. Also, while we were at the caverns, they had a gift shop and a statue of a Western diamondback rattlesnake (almost identical t...

It's pretty cold here in Austin this morning. A chilly 17! I couldn't be happier. Actually, I could if it was snowing. But they're saying snow for Thursday night, so we'll see what happens. I'm still on vacation today. Steve's off today and tomorrow, which is nice, since we never get to see each other anymore. His new job keeps him working 12 and 13 hour days. We kind of hate it, but what are you gonna do? We're going to Natural Bridge Caverns today. We're excited, since neither of us have ever been before. We decided to go a couple of months ago because the third installment of the series I'm working on will take place in some caves, so it'll be a research trip, of sorts. I was supposed to have spent this week working on the second installment of the series, but have had a touch of writer's block. I think with the mailing of the letters to agents and the fact that I knew I had to take an online defensive Driving course yesterday (...